First: I have been doing a lot of art stuff and keeping up with my soft pastels and things like that. I also have been doing a bible study over the story of Exodus. Well the second night of reading Exodus I read the 4th chapter and was amazed at what I had read. Previously, I had been very knocked down and worried about what I would say to people while I'm in London, or even here at home! I was so worried and upset about it, I started telling God, I think you picked the totally wrong person for this job! then I read this:
The Lord said to [Moses], "Who gave man his mouth?
Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight
or makes him blind? Is it not I, The Lord? Now go;
I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.
Exodus 4:11-12
I was totally amazed by Moses's meeting with God! It blew my mind! He made my mouth!!! Will He not use it for His own glory??
I was amazed and fell in love with those verses.
How often do I tell God He picked the wrong dude! Correct answer: too often!
How many times am I right? Correct answer: never!
I was stuck in this amazing revelation. It almost seems simple: He made my mouth; okay He's done that for many others, whats the big deal? The big deal is, He made it for His glory and I need to honor His creation!!
I loved Moses's meeting with God so much I was compelled to draw the scene on paper...although I knew I could never portray something like that as well as it originally was.
I came up with this and immediately loved it because of what I learned through this amazing story!
I thought all my fears were done away with and that everything was going to be okay again; however, they were not, and they came flooding back not a week and half later.
This was just last Wednesday, I had been completely depressed over how I was going to have to come up with over $2,300. I was so worried, I somewhat became sick. Despite my stomach knots, I went to my church small group bible study and met with my friends.
I told them that I was worrying about how I would come up with the huge sum that's due on April 1st and not only the stress of my sister having to pay her final payment on that day as well. I almost broke down right there because I was at such a loss as to what to do. I told them that I had sent out support letters at the beginning of January and this would be the time that people would stop responding and that I didn't know how we were going to pay for this.
After the bible study was finished and everyone had left, one of my friends came up to me and asked if they could give me something and they handed me $100. I was in shock and surprised at their actions. I couldn't say anything but 'thank you's' I was so shocked and teary eyed.
They gave me a hug and told me to have a safe drive home. It was a very short conversation, probably because I was about to creat a flood the size of Niagra Falls, but I hugged them back and made my way to my car to head home.
Once in my car, I cried so hard. It was in that small action that God showed me how much He cares for His sheep! I was still shocked, because this was the last person I expected money from and their they were, ready to give it.
I prayed to God asking Him to forgive my unbelief and lack of trust in Him! I could not believe I had fallen into this again. The fear, destroyed my trust in the Lord and I let it happen AGAIN!!!
I was on my face in front of God the whole way home (not literally because I was driving) talking to Him, telling Him how sorry I was about not trusting Him.
It's hard to explain to you how I felt at that moment. It was a mixture of joy, grief, praise, and awe.
Joy because I was $100 closer to the goal.
Grief because I was so sad about my lack of trust in God.
Praise because I wanted to sing songs to Him all the way home for His faithfulness to His children.
and Awe because I foget just how good God is.
I wanted to share this with you because I keep on witnessing how amazing He is then forgetting. I dont want others to forget and fall the same way I do.
To the people who read this, I hope God bless you and that you walk continually with Him no matter how inadequate you feel or your situation is.
By the way the quote in the title is from a song called Love Like Rain by Daniel Doss Band.
